Getting your child to sleep in their own bed let alone room can prove difficult for most if not all parents. Don't give up! It's not as hard as you may think.
Yes, it will take time and a lot of patience, but soon enough you can enjoy a peaceful, comfortable nights sleep, alone.
Children usually develop and come accustom to routines in two weeks. Each time that you break the routine, you're set back at day 1. So going through with this method needs complete devotion and willpower.
No matter your child's age, a routine can be established. Obviously, the earlier you start the easier. But, it's never too late to break a habit.
Big No-No's:
The last thing you want to do is show your weakness to your child. You know, at 3 in the morning when you hear them crying in their room and all you want is to go back to sleep so you go and either get your child, or sleep in your child's bed. Children are aware of these patterns, and they will use it to their advantage. So, no matter how tired you are, stick to the method and soon enough, your child will be reminded that you make the rules, not them. It will pay off.
Don't feel guilty, your child will most probably make you feel guilty, and try to sweet talk their way back into your bed, they will try every trick in the book. If there is nothing physically wrong with them, then there's nothing for you to worry about.
Don't lie to them. If you tell them that you will be back in 15 minutes and hope they fall asleep within that time, they will remember this and wonder where you are, they may even wait up. They will also lose your trust and become more resistant to a new routine. Be honest to them, sometimes they are just frustrated that they don't know what's going on.
Warning:
It's a good idea to childproof the room they will be in to avoid any accidents. Things to keep an eye on are; power sockets, sharp corners, window and door locks, choking hazards (such as toys, small objects) and bed barriers. These can easily be child-safe with the right contraptions that you can find at your local baby store and most supermarkets.
SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) effects babies up to the age of 1 years old. There is no explanation to the cause and after investigation the cause is still unknown. SIDS can effect any baby of any race and of any socioeconomic level. Although SIDS is not caused by suffocation or choking, it is recommended to always have your baby sleep on their back with no pillows or clutter on their cot/bed. If your baby/child is in a cot, make sure the cot meets the safety requirements. SIDSNZ goes more in depth on cot safety requirements
here.
The Method:
Firstly, you'll want to set a date for when the new routine will commence. Set it on a day that everyone is happy with and a day that is easiest for you. Have a pre-bedroom activity, if you do the same thing at the same time every night before you put your child to bed, this can be easier for the child to recognize that bed time is approaching. You will want to avoid full-on activities, pre-bedroom activities that can get your child to relax and wind down could include: a shower, reading books together, a puzzle etc.
Set a suitable bed time. Stick to it each night. Tell your child that this is their very own room, and you have your own room, give them a cuddle, say goodnight and leave. They don't need to be baby-talked to. They'll understand just fine.
If your child (they will) calls out to you or starts crying, walk into their room, and tell them that you are not far away and that it is time for them to sleep.
The trick is to not make this a habit, they will expect you to come running to them each time they call out. Limit it to 3 visits (realistically 5) per night, no more. They will stop calling out and crying eventually. Just make sure that they are fed and clean. Leave a water bottle in their room as calling out for a drink is the number 1 thing children do to gain their parents attention, most likely they aren't even thirsty.
Stick to this and you'll see results! It will get easier as each night passes.
Note; trust your instincts, you know your child best.
Tips:
A baby monitor may come in handy if your room is far from your child's room or if you aren't sure you will be able to hear your child during the night.
Making the room pretty/fun is a great way to get your children to stay in their rooms.
Praise the bed! Rave about how cool/great their bed is and they won't be able to wait to get into it.
Reward your child. If your child has stayed in their bedroom longer than usual, reward them and praise them for it. Perhaps a sticker chart. One sticker for each night they stay in their room, and by 7 stickers they get a treat. Praising good behaviour is just as important as punishing bad behaviour.
Have a big chat to them beforehand, tell them what is going on and answer any question they might have. Reassurance is vital.
Everyone in your household needs to be on the same page about the new routine. It will be a loud, few nights so if someone isn't happy with this you may want to invest in earplugs for them. Just remember that this will benefit everyone in the long run. Good luck!
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